The next person that asks me if I'm pregnant or assumes I'm pregnant just because I'm not feeling well is gonna get it.
People have been asking since the day we got back from our honeymoon when we are going to have kids. Really? Maybe once we've been married longer than the length of time you can rent a video...? I get that people mean well. I really do. But I also don't understand why having a ring on your finger means you should start producing little ones.
I am unfortunately a frequently ill person. If there is anyone within a 500 mile radius who is sick, I will undoubtedly catch it. I've had the stomach flu (or its equivalent) three times just in the last 6 months. It is crappy and annoying but I deal with it. This is nothing new, though. Ever since I got mono 7 years ago, I have been a germ magnet. But conversations have changed.
Before marriage:
Person: oh, you're sick? Bummer. Think it's the flu?
After marriage:
Person: you're sick? Bet you're pregnant.
Me: haha, no, just the flu.
Person: I really bet you're pregnant. You're throwing up so you must be pregnant.
Me: no, I am 100% positive I am not pregnant, just surrounded by sick people.
Person: you should probably take a test.
Okay. Enough. I don't know why, in 2014, I am seen as inadequate for not becoming a baby-making machine the day I said I Do. I don't know why I am less of a woman because I am not popping out a kid on our 9 month wedding anniversary. I know some people take that path, and good for them. That is a great decision to make. But it is not for me.
Inevitably, after the uncomfortable conversation in which I have to repeatedly convince a semi-stranger that I am not with child, comes the "well, when ARE you having kids?!" question, and they never like my answer. Because I always reply, "Not for a long time. Probably years down the road." And then, because that does not satisfy this nosy person, I almost always have to explain further. First of all, I am in school and working full-time. I do not even have time for myself, much less a baby. And as I mentioned before, I am sick about 75% of the time. I do not think that my body can physically take my constant illnesses in addition to the physical changes of pregnancy and then getting very little sleep once the baby comes. Secondly, we just got married. Do you really think we are in a financial place to take on a third family member? Thirdly, my husband is gone for work all the time. The assumption is that because he is a teacher, he is home by 4 every day and has every weekend and summer off. Oh, if only. There are days he comes home at 8:30 and is asleep by 9. We can go weeks on end without actually having dinner together. Being married to a music teacher is not the same as being married to an elementary teacher. In the last month alone, he has had meetings, rehearsals, two school musicals, regional and state football games, district auditions, conferences, lessons, all while getting ready for the Christmas concert. So no, I do not feel equipped to be raising a child basically by myself. I do not fault my husband for being gone so much, but it is the reality of the situation we are in.
So in conclusion... I am not pregnant. Yes, I'm sure. Yes, I'm positive. No, I'm fine with that. And you know what? It honestly is 100% not anyone's business but mine and my husband's. If I feel the need to share intimate details of our marriage and life goals with anyone, I will do it on my own time. But I will certainly not continue to justify my body and my choices to people who have no business asking.
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